There’s No Way I Can Do That!

When I was working as a Clinical Lead, one of the things I taught practitioners was how to set meaningful goals with their clients. I will freely admit that previously it had never really been something that floated my boat. It didn’t really float the boat of the practitioners either... until they deeply understood the power and encouragement that goal setting can bring.

I can imagine that some people reading this blog post might be rolling their eyes at the thought and feel tempted to scroll on by, but... let me invite you to stay and ponder.

If you’ve read my book; Bugger Bugger Shit! My quest for resilience, you will know that I’m all about encouraging everyone to enlarge their resilience; me included!

Ok, the boring theoretical bit first (stay with me). We’ve heard about SMART goals; Specific,

Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, Timebound. Let’s use reading as an example; I would like to increase my reading. That isn’t a goal, it’s an aim. A smart goal would be; I would like to read one book a month. It’s specific, it’s measurable, it’s achievable, it’s realistic and it’s

timebound. Then you would need to work out a way to do that. You might decide; I will read

one book for 15 minutes every day for the first week, 30 minutes for the second week, 45

minutes for the third week and an hour for the fourth week. It would be a short book but you

would have met your SMART goal. If it isn’t realistic then maybe it would be; I would like to read one book in six months, but you get the picture. A couple of quick tips; if the goal has an “and” in the sentence it’s two goals not one. If it relies on another person it can’t be a goal because the other person might get in the way of achieving your goal. It has to be a goal that you can do by yourself. You might ask someone to help but reaching your goal can’t rely on that other person. You get my drift.

When I had my big Psoriatic Arthritis and MS relapse in September 2020 it was a bit of a

struggle to do anything. Until the end of that year all I was basically focused on was keeping my head above water, supporting my team at work, managing in the chaos of the pandemic. My specialists were working (remotely) on trying to get my symptoms under control.

By early 2021, my NDIS (National Disability Insurance Scheme) application was approved and my first plan was in place. I started Exercise Physiology (EP) to try and get my body moving. My EP was brilliant. She helped me set goals and then supported me to reach them. The first session was an assessment. She asked me to jump up and down once. My brain understood what she was saying but it was clearly not talking to my body because no matter how hard I tried, my feet and legs would not budge.

Then she asked me to hop, I was not hopeful given my utter failure to jump but nevertheless I gave it a go. Nothing. Then she asked me to walk over some little objects on the floor - well I suppose I was successful in reaching the other side of my living room but my living room ended up looking like some sort of hurricane had blown through, recklessly dropping a host of plastic paraphernalia. She asked me to sit on the floor, ummm how precisely? And if I did sit on the floor how on earth was I going to get up again. Then she asked me to sit on a kitchen chair and stand up without using my arms. Nope that didn’t work either.... So we clearly had some goals

to work on.

I saw my EP every week for two years. About a year in, I said I would like to give Pilates a try. She laughed and said absolutely not right now but we’ll work towards it - another goal. Little by little my brain and body started to communicate. The first time I managed to jump was glorious and the first time I managed to stand up off my kitchen chair without help was fantastic.

Two years in, my walking was not brilliant but I could do 50 sit ups in a row and a 2 minute

modified plank (my hands and arms don’t work well so we needed to find a way for it to work). My last session with her was in my local park, just opposite my house which I walked to without assistance. I asked her if I could start Pilates and she gave me an enthusiastic YES!!!!

I started Pilates about 18 months ago. I had an assessment and my Pilates instructor said she couldn’t put me in a class because my MS impacts what’s called Proprioception (an easy way to think about it is how your brain computes your body in space) and she was worried I’d fall off the Reformer. Fair call, I thought. So we started, step by step, twice a week. One day I arrived early and I saw someone standing on the Cadillac with their foot in a strap doing a stretch. I said I want to be able to do that. The precursor to a SMART goal. Twelve months in, I stood on the Cadillac with my foot in a strap stretching away and I didn’t lose my balance or fall off! My Pilates instructor still needs to straighten me up because that proprioception neural connection won’t ever work. Being straight has never been a goal and won’t ever be a goal but standing up on a piece of apparatus with my foot in a strap is way more satisfying than lying down straight!

Early last year I started to see a specialist Neuro Physiotherapist and Neuro Occupational

Therapist (OT). I was going to the UK and Europe and knew I would be exploring a castle with friends. It is not wheelchair friendly so I would have to walk. The goal was to be able to walk around the castle. We worked on getting up and down stairs (my nemesis) and walking over uneven terrain (weirdly shaped plastic blocks of different heights like stepping stones).

My physio also wanted me to not fall over, something I am an expert at. During my first

assessment she locked me into a harness attached to a steel beam and then took aim and

pushed me over from all sorts of directions. Predictably I fell over (well I didn’t because I was attached to the harness). She could see that my brain and body didn’t connect fast enough to stop me falling. I added not falling over as a goal! Six months later I went off to the UK and Europe and on a day where the rain was torrential, I walked around the castle with my friends. I had a walking stick, we went up and down loads of uneven stairs and over uneven ground. I sat down when I needed to but I did it!

I came back from Europe and back to Neuro Physio and another assessment. I got strung up in the harness again and this time when she tried to push me over I managed to stop myself falling front, back and right. My left is my weak side so I wasn’t too successful there but guess what -it’s now a goal! I did the six minute walk test and whilst I’m slower than the norm, I’m faster than I was.

Since I’ve been back, I’ve started learning how to walk properly using a machine called the

LEXO. Once again you get strung up in a harness so the machine supports your weight whilst you learn how to step properly and build your stamina. When I started on it a few months ago I did 2 x 5 minute blocks with 80% support from the machine and about 60% accuracy in my steps. Today? I did 26 minutes with a brief break, 89% accuracy and only 8% support! I’m starting EP again in a few weeks and my physio said her hope was for me to be able to lift a dead weight. I looked at her as if she was mad and then I remembered; four years ago I couldn’t even jump or hop or step over a tiny little obstacle.

So why are SMART goals important? Without a goal I wouldn’t be able to look back and reflect on how far I’ve come. Each goal has been specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and timebound. It means I know without a shadow of a doubt, that I have successfully ticked them off one by one and clearly see the improvements I have made.

When we can clearly reflect on the successes we have achieved in the past it means that we can see success in our future. It means that when we hit an obstacle, instead of being

overwhelmed and giving up, we can look at it with fresh eyes and say I might not be able to

achieve that right now but if I think about it, get the support I need and set baby step SMART goals, then I can get there. That builds our resilience.

So often we look at what’s happening in the world in general, or our worlds specifically and think this is all too big and too hard. And yes it is when we look at the whole situation. When we break it down to what we can achieve within it, then we can change.

I am writing my second book at the moment which is all about Domestic Violence. The statistics in Australia are overwhelming. When I look at the whole situation, I feel completely and utterly helpless. But then I remember; I can only do what I can do. So my goal is to have my book completed by the middle of February. That’s a SMART goal. I can’t set a goal of how it will impact the situation because that’s way bigger than me and I have no control over it. What I can do though is create a resource that will help others. I can set a goal about how many social media posts I share about Domestic Violence. I can set a goal related to educating my family about Domestic Violence. All I can do to improve the situation is to work within my circle of influence.

So I leave you with the challenge. What SMART goals can you put in place to make a little

change to your difficult or even impossible situation? What support do you need to put in place to help? What can you change and what can’t you change? I would love to hear your stories so feel free to put a comment in the chat. Maybe even take a risk and say what your SMART goal is and then come back and let me know when you’ve achieved it!

As always I’d love you to pass this on to someone you think it might help.

Angharad